tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2995687680502319585.post1902602256354311421..comments2023-03-04T16:48:25.619+00:00Comments on Welcome to mikes4tea: Costa-conscience booksMike Teahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14505904110015305223noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2995687680502319585.post-41120048660134616412007-08-27T22:59:00.000+00:002007-08-27T22:59:00.000+00:00Thanks Mike for being prepared to show my post.'Pl...Thanks Mike for being prepared to show my post.<BR/><BR/>'Plimsoll Line'idea relates to me coming to terms with having had a 'break-down' myself and trying to investigate a way of preventing others going as far. If it is possible.<BR/><BR/>On a personallevel just for the following headings it is a challenge :-<BR/>Physical<BR/>Mental<BR/>Emotional<BR/>Social/Relational<BR/>Volitional<BR/>Spiritual<BR/><BR/>And thats before you even involve<BR/>'vocational.<BR/><BR/>That's how I can relate to your friend's situation.<BR/><BR/>I used to be told I only came to visit 'my friends'(my friend's books)rather than my friend.<BR/><BR/>However, when your mind is active it is often easy to have a private conversation with a book, rather than engage with people.<BR/><BR/>(Would be willing to post any relevent links with regards to stress-related issues etc unless you wish to add comments to my blog.)EDUKAYTEDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11150825580766237102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2995687680502319585.post-50400474879683471732007-08-07T20:16:00.000+00:002007-08-07T20:16:00.000+00:00Thanks EdukaytedI think perhaps I feel uncomfortab...Thanks Edukayted<BR/><BR/>I think perhaps I feel uncomfortable more than guilty. It is weird to understand so well a situation whose existence is not even known at all to the other person.<BR/><BR/>You are right in saying that a level of control and order helps him, so long as he is in control. He certainly would feel good about giving, making decisions, and commemorating his wife in a way that would please her.<BR/><BR/>I don't feel there is a need to control him for his own good. Apart from anything else it wouldn't be possible he is so driven by his inner demons.<BR/><BR/>One Christmas I remarked jocularly that he might make a good Santa. He went quiet but it took a time for me to notice. Some time later he asked, "Do you think I am fat Mike?" I felt so bad I kept reassuring him and vowed to be more careful in future.<BR/><BR/>I haven't seen him for some time and this makes things even more strange for me. Its like he is there when I pick up a book but not there in reality. I don't mind or fret about it but it is odd and thinking about the experience helps me deal with it I guess. Maybe I should call him but, though this is a normal and acceptable idea for most people, for me I have to consider beforehand how I will do it and how I will back off if there is any reluctance on his part because I know that after I put the phone down he will think about it a lot.<BR/><BR/>BTW I loved your idea of a Plimsoll line for stress. My wife works in computers in local government and the pressures can be incredible. She is becoming involved in a working group for disabled people in the workplace. Maybe I should suggest they consider this aspect.Mike Teahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14505904110015305223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2995687680502319585.post-84978926865620977792007-08-06T16:28:00.000+00:002007-08-06T16:28:00.000+00:00Maybe you feel guilty that he is giving and not ge...Maybe you feel guilty that he is giving and not getting the monetary value of his gifts. However, it may be helping him to have some control and order in his life.<BR/><BR/>Do you feel their is a need to have to 'control' him for him to get better ?<BR/><BR/>Maybe as you say being there as and when is all he needs. Have you tried asking him how he sees your relationship ?EDUKAYTEDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11150825580766237102noreply@blogger.com