Monday, 15 October 2007

"Oh, sister Avon, I spilled that cosmetic sample you gave me all over the rug!"
"Don't worry sister Clumsy, I brought brother Betterware of the High Priest's quorum with me. He has a bottle of Celestial Suds that will mop it up in no time."

Thursday, 11 October 2007

I'm Gonna shoot the next wascally wascal who says we're not Chwistians!
(Message from the 177th Mormon Semi-Annual General Conference)

Monday, 8 October 2007

How Many Christians...

Thank you Noemi for this.

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatics - 1 to change the bulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness

Calvinists - none, God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change lightbulbs, they simply read the instructions and pray the lightbulb will be the one that is chosen to be changed.

TV evangelists - Only 1, but for the message of light to continue please send your donation....

Christians from independent churches - Only 1, any more might result in too much co-operation

Roman Catholics - none, they always use candles

Anglicans - "Change???"

Baptists - 1 to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how they liked the old one better

Liberals - This statement was issued: we choose not to make a statement either in favour or against the need of a lightbulb. However, if in your journey you have found the lightbulb works for you then that's fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb or light source or non-dark resource and present it next month to our annual lightbulb service in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, longlife and tinted - all of which equally valid paths to luminescence.