The Manacled Mormon Returns

Is it thirty years since we were treated to the story of bubbly Joyce McKinney and the "Manacled Mormon"? It seems just yesterday that young Mormon males (and non-Mormon males for that matter) around the world looked on with secret envy at the plight of 21-year-old, 6'4" Kirk Anderson, Mormon missionary and sometime kidnap victim and sex slave.

In scenes that might have been straight out of the X-Files or the Matrix, our "Mr Anderson" (c'mon, I couldn't resist) was kidnapped in 1977 from the steps of the Mormon Church in a leafy Surrey suburb where he was based during his mission, taken away to a secret venue, restrained in mink-lined handcuffs and dressed in silky pyjamas that were ripped from his body by a sultry and voracious Joyce McKinney, and lovingly but determinedly sexually assaulted. In court Anderson tried but ultimately failed to give the impression that he hated every minute of it. McKinney along with a male accomplice, escaped the country, according to some accounts, disguised as deaf and dumb mime artists and she lived in the Appalatian Mountains disguised as a nun before being found by the police.

I am not making this up!

Now it seems she is back and cloning dogs in Korea of all things. I swear you couldn't make it up. "Brennan" McKinney, who has been in the news in recent days for having her favourite and much missed dog "Booger" cloned, is none other, it appears, than darling dear Joyce of Manacled Mormon fame, although she is admitting nothing. The story is covered in The Times but the best account by far is in that bastion of hang 'em and flog 'em moral rectitude and prurient impulses The Daily Mail

Life seems so dull when compared to those heady days following the juicy events of 1977 when male Mormon missionaries hung back after church or stood around on English street corners hoping that a Joyce McKinney would whisk them away to a love nest, silky pyjamas and mink-lined handcuffs. It seems, however, that these things happen but once in a lifetime and it always seems to be someone else's lifetime at that. Put away those dreamy gazes and winsome looks boys. Joyce has gone to the dogs.